October 30, 2015
We leave in the morning for vacation. I can't explain how badly I need this. Stress has become my only emotion the latter part of this year, this week has topped it off, thanks to the ass chewing from not one, but two customers this week. As usual, I am nervous to fly, but have made no attempts to pickle myself in order to gain the liquid courage I've always needed. I'm too exhausted. Body is tired, mind is tired, soul too. In desperate need of rejuvenation. Vacation couldn't have come at a better time. As always, God's timing.
Sitting here thinking about the reality that this time tomorrow I will be in another country has me feeling deeply and incredibly grateful. I know that there are so many people who work just as hard, if not harder than me and don't get the opportunity to travel, or even to get away... people I know and love. It puts things into perspective. I have so much to be thankful for.
In today's world and in my own little world, there are so many things happening to people, changing their lives, death, destruction, sickness, poverty. I am just so thankful for everything that I have been blessed with. For my family, people who love me unconditionally even at my worst. I have wonderful beautiful friends who choose to love me, and undoubtedly complete my life. I have a lovely home with hot water and electricity, and a vehicle to drive. I have food in my refrigerator (not much, currently... but so much more than so many). I have a career that I truly love, despite the stress and long hours. I have my health and the ability to be active... something I have taken for granted before, but now have a deep appreciation for it. And of course, my Faith. I would have nothing without that. So grateful indeed. Wow.
When I wrote this I remember feeling as if my heart was so full it would explode at any moment. That is such an incredible feeling to have and I wish it for everyone, especially my loved ones. I still feel that gratitude in my heart, and I try daily to keep it with me, thanking God for all the blessings he has given me, when there are people dying of disease and famine, people with no shelter, no warm clothes in the cold weather, people in abusive homes, people with dark demons and addictions.
Struggling daily watching my aunt battle cancer has changed my world, not that my world didn't change when my dad had cancer, but this is different. I spend my every day with her, she is apart of my life more than many. Every day is a gift, every good day is a miracle, every smile is a treasure.
Yes, I have so much to be grateful for, so many blessings. Even you.
I wish you a Happy Thanksgiving, and may you count all of your blessings as well.